Tell Me Why
by iamkellylouise
Summary: By sleeping with Derek Shepard at prom Meredith was hurting Addison in a way nobody knew. And Addison needed to know why. AU 3x03. AddisonMeredith!


**A/N: Ok, this starts from **_**that**_** supply closet scene in 3x03. Read. Enjoy. Review.**

**HOLY MOTHER OF...WOW. THIS IS MY 90TH FIC. HOW THE HELL DID THAT HAPPEN?**

* * *

"Oh, hi" Meredith said opening the supply closet door to see Addison sitting on an upturned bucked crying.

"Weren't you just up on three?" Addison asked incredulously.

"I was. We lost a patient, a little girl, and I was just…."

"Look why don't you just pick a floor and stay on it, and I'll pick a floor and stay on that, because I really need a moment or two without you. Your face shows up in my head, your panties show up in my husband's pocket. Really you're everywhere, and I need a moment or two without you"

"Addison…." Meredith said taking a step forward and closing the door clicking the lock shut.

"Why?" Addison whispered.

"It just happened" Meredith sighed.

"And by the looks of things it's still happening!" Addison snapped.

"No it's, I, I'm dating him, and Finn, and, I don't really know why I suggested it I just, I don't know" Meredith sighed.

"Do you still love him?"

"I don't know"

"Do you still love me?"

"Yeah, yes, of course I do" Meredith said dropping to her knees in front of Addison "I love you Addison"

"Then _why_?" Addison stressed.

"One minute we were shouting and the next, the next he was kissing me and, I should have stopped it, I know that but, you can't act completely innocent in this Addison, you're the one who's been having an affair with me for the past 3 months"

"Don't you think I know that?" Addison snapped "Don't you think I know that I should be devastated that my husband slept with another woman and not be more devastated that the woman slept with someone who wasn't me? Don't you think I know that I'm nothing but a dirty lying adulterous bitch who has not only taken her husbands best friend away from him but has taken the woman he loves too!" she exclaimed.

"You haven't taken me from anyone Addison" Meredith said firmly.

"It's over Meredith" Addison said standing up "I can't do this"

"Addison please" Meredith said hopping up onto her feet.

"Do you still love him?"

"I don't know"

"Then, it's over" Addison said firmly, she pressed a firm kiss onto Meredith's forehead and made a quick exit out of the closet.

~x~

**1 week later.**

"Well let's see. Your complexion is flushed. Abdominal wall is tender. Aren't you happy to have a boyfriend who works in the hospital?" Derek smiled down at a seemingly high Meredith.

"You are just one of many people I happen to be dating at the moment" Meredith grinned.

"Really? How many of us are there?"

"Well...there's you... and Finn...and…"

"Well forgive me for pointing out the obvious, but I don't see any practitioners of veterinary medicine at your bedside"

"You would if you turned around" said Finn.

"Finn"

"Derek"

"Oh, can I just say how much it helps that I am on drugs right now"

"So" said Finn.

"So how's life in the animal kingdom?"

"What about you Derek? Slow day?"

Derek's pager goes off.

"If you need to take off it's…"

"No, I can stay"

"Great" said Finn.

"Great" said Meredith.

"Great" said Derek.

"Okay let's get you prepped and ready for surgery…" George said walking in "Oh. Dr. Shepherd. Dr. Finn!"

"Now all my boys are here. So handsome. And such good kissers" Meredith mused.

"Oh God…" George groaned.

"Excuse me?" asked Finn.

"She's on drugs" said George.

"He's an excellent kisser"

"You two dated?"

"You didn't know?" asked Derek.

"It wasn't a date so much as a...disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience"

"Oh...I can't…be here" George stuttered.

"None of you can be here, this woman is being prepped for surgery, which means all of you need to leave" said Bailey.

"Gladly" George said turning to leave.

"Not you O'Malley!"

"Dr Bailey, all my boyfriends are here!" Meredith exclaimed "They're all really good kissers, not as good as Addison, Addison is theeee best kisser in the whole entire world"

"What!" they all exclaimed.

"She dumped me" Meredith sighed "She found the slutty dirty panties and she dumped me so I don't get to kiss her anymore, she was the best kisser, I love her, I L.O.V.E. Love her. I love Addison! ADDISON!" she shouted "Helloooo Adddiissonn!"

"She's on drugs" said Derek "The drugs are making her say that right"

"ADDISON!" Meredith shouted.

"You bellowed Dr Grey" Addison said appearing in the doorway.

"Your the best kisser in the whole entire world" Meredith giggled.

"Ok, so she's high" Addison smirked, her heart began to race quickly, she walked into the room and picked up the chart "And not pregnant"

"Nope" Meredith smiled "I miss you"

"Meredith shut up" Addison said sternly "You don't know what you're saying do you? The drugs are making you say stupid things aren't they?"

"She's trying to cover up because I'm not supposed to tell anyone that we were together for 3 months and nobody knew because it was a secret and I love her and she loves me and we were supposed to be together but then I screwed up because I'm a slutty whore"

"Meredith!" Addison hissed.

"Your pretty" Meredith giggled.

"Oh god" Addison groaned, she could feel 4 sets of eyes burning into her.

"Addie baby forgive me, don't hate me anymore, I love you" Meredith said innocently, Addison looked at her with teary eyes waiting for it to start.

"What the HELL is going on?" Derek exclaimed. There it was.

Addison made a disgusted noise and headed for the door, Derek jumped in front of her with anger fueled eyes.

"Tell me it's the drugs Addison" he said sternly.

"It's the drugs" she replied not meeting his eye.

"Look me in the eye and tell me that none of that was true, look me _in the eye_"

"I can't" she whispered.

"You disgust me" he spat.

"I disgust me" she sighed pushing past him.

"Whoops" Meredith laughed "George! Ice chips!"

~x~

"Addison" said Meredith shaking Addison's foot which was propped up on her bed "Addison!"

"Huh? What? I'm awake" Addison said sitting up "Oh, so are you"

"Yeah uh, why are you here?"

"You are _never _allowed morphine again, _ever_" Addison said firmly.

"Oh god what did I do?" Meredith groaned.

"Announced to Derek, Finn, George and Bailey that I was the best kisser in the entire world, that we loved each other, that we were together for 3 months and that you missed me, while I was there, so yeah, I think it's safe to say our secrets out"

"Oh god Addie I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry for everything"

"I know" Addison sighed.

"What happens now?"

"I go home" Addison said standing up "Just thought I should be the one to tell you"

"Addison please" Meredith said reaching out to her.

"We can't do this Meredith" Addison said walking out of the room.

"Damn it" Meredith said dropping her head back onto the pillow, she squeezed the covers in her hands tightly and closed her eyes "Damn it, damn it, damn it" she snapped her eyes open when the door slammed shut.

"Are you going to tell me why the _hell _there is a rumor going around that you and the soon to be ex She-Shepard were sleeping together for 3 months?" asked Cristina as she stood with her arms folded angrily against her chest.

"Damn it" Meredith whispered as tears began to fall.

"Oh" Cristina said softening slightly, she crossed the room and perched herself on the edge of the bed "Ok, talk to me"

"I love her" Meredith whispered "I know it sounds crazy and we both know how stupid we were being but we, she let me talk to Molly, remember, my half-sister?"

Cristina nodded a little.

"Well she, she let me talk to her and then I found out about the whole 'father has a new family' thing and I was freaking out so she took me to an empty on call room and just let me cry and after a while she sat next to me and helped me calm down and I don't know what happened but she just looked at me and I saw something, I don't know what it was but there was something in her eyes and then she's kissing me or I'm kissing her and well, y'know and it just carried on from there and she was going to leave him, just before the prom, we talked and she had the papers ready and signed and then I screwed up, I screwed up and I slept with him and she found out by finding my panties in his tux and when I couldn't tell her I didn't love him she finished it and now I've just blurted the whole thing to Derek, Finn, George and Bailey while she was in the room very loudly so now everyone probably knows and I'm even more of a slut than I was before"

"I don't think I have anything to say to that" Cristina sighed "Mer what were you thinking?"

"What was I thinking when it started? I wasn't thinking. What was I thinking while it was going on? A little guilty but when we were together I couldn't even think about it. What was I thinking when I slept with Derek? I have no idea. What am I thinking now? That I was stupid not to realize that I don't love him anymore, I stopped loving him the minute I started loving her and it's too late, I can't fix it, she's gone and well, Marks here and I know that they've slept together already and I can't even be upset about it because I slept with Derek so now I'm, I don't know what I am, I'm empty"

"Maybe this is a chance to start again, start a fresh, no Shepards, nobody who reminds you of the Shepards because lets face it if you didn't give them your dog you wouldn't know Finn so, start again, a fresh"

"Start again" Meredith sighed "I can try"

~x~

**3 weeks later.**

"Hi, I'm with Dr Montgomery-Shepard today, do you know where she is?" Meredith said walking up to one of the nurses.

"Dr Grey" Addison said walking up behind her "Welcome back"

"Thank you"

"And uh, it's just Montgomery now"

"What?"

"My name. The divorce was finalized this morning so, Montgomery"

"Oh" Meredith said simply "Addie I…."

"It's Dr Montgomery" Addison sighed walking towards their patients room.

~x~

"I hate this day" Meredith said slamming her tray down onto the cafeteria table.

"Aww, your girlfriend giving you a hard time?" Alex mocked.

"She's not my girlfriend" Meredith grumbled.

"I told you Mer, fresh start" said Cristina "Forget her"

"It's a little hard when your forced to spend the whole day with her" Meredith sighed.

"Well whats the other option?" asked George.

"Trying to get her back" Meredith muttered "But I don't see that happening, she can't even look at me, she got divorced _today_, whenever Derek sees us he either turns the other way, glares at us or says something insulting which I know we deserve but this isn't the time or the place and I just, I still love her and I want her back"

"Your serious?" asked Cristina.

"Serious" Meredith nodded.

"Then it's time to make use of this here hospital" Cristina grinned mischievously "Get her paged to an empty room, watch her walk in, go in after her slam the door shut and lock it, then talk"

"Talk" Meredith nodded "I can do that, talk, ok"

~x~

Addison glanced down at her pager with confusion, she was free so she headed for the unknown room, she stepped in, looked up to the empty space, she turned around when she heard the door slam and the lock click.

"Dr Grey what are you…."

"Don't Dr Grey me" Meredith snapped "In this moment I am Meredith and you are Addison ok?"

"Well _Addison _doesn't want to talk to _Meredith_"

"_Addison _doesn't have a choice"

"You can't just…."

"Already have now sit" she said pointing at the empty chair, Addison huffed loudly and sat in the chair "I made a mistake Addison, I know that, I know that I hurt you, I know what I did was wrong and all I can do is apologize and tell you that, I don't love him, I stopped loving him the minute I started loving you and when you asked me if I did love him my head it was, it was a mess and I couldn't think and I love you Addison, I love you and I miss you and you can't seriously sit there and tell me you don't feel the same"

"Of course I feel the same Meredith" Addison sighed "I do love you, I do miss you but, you slept with him, if it was anyone else, if it was Finn even I could have gotten past it but it was _him_ and I just can't"

"When we were together how many times did you sleep with him?" Meredith asked folding her arms across her chest.

"Not a lot but enough, we were _married _Meredith, and he was trying to make it work"

"Oh because that matters now" Meredith scoffed.

"I don't know what you want me to say"

"I just want us to be us again" Meredith said stepping close to her, she reached out and cupped Addison's cheek, she stroked her thumb softly against it "Please Addie"

Addison closed her eyes and sighed heavily, she leant into the hand a little, her heart beat quickening, Meredith brought the other hand to the other cheek "Open your eyes"

"No" Addison whispered, Meredith moved so she was sat straddling Addison's lap "Open your eyes"

"Mer please" Addison whimpered.

Meredith leaned in and placed a soft kiss on Addison's lips "Tell me to stop and I'll stop" she said kissing her jawline "Tell me you don't want me and I'll stop" a kiss on her neck "Tell me you don't love me and I'll leave you alone, I'll stay away from you as much as I can, but Addison, I've been trying to do that and I can't because I love you, I want us to be together and I don't want to let go and I know I hurt you, I know that but if you let me I'll spend every day of our lives making it up to you"

Addison opened her eyes and connected them with Meredith's tear filled ones "I want to take it slow" she whispered "I want to get to know you again, just, slow ok, so, no sex"

"No sex?" Meredith asked with a raised eyebrow "You?"

"Because _you_ are really one to talk" Addison smirked.

"Shut up" Meredith laughed "Ok, so no sex but, I can kiss you right?"

"You can kiss me, second base only, for a while"

"I can live with that" Meredith said leaning in and kissing her hard on the lips, reveling in the fact that Addison returned the kiss "I love you Addie"

"I love you too"

"No more secrets?"

"No more secrets"

~x~

"Good morning" Meredith grinned as she walked into the kitchen the following day.

"Um, good morning" Izzie stuttered.

"Are you sure your not going to deposit this thing Izzie?" Meredith said as she noticed the $8.7 million dollar check stuck on the refrigerator.

"I'm sure Mer" Izzie nodded.

"Ok, whatever you want" Meredith smiled "And you're coming back to the hospital today?"

"Yeah" Izzie answered.

"Good, that's good" Meredith smiled as she poured herself a glass of orange juice.

"Morning" George yawned as he entered the kitchen.

"Good morning George" Meredith grinned "Juice?"

"Uh, yeah, thanks" he stuttered, he looked at Izzie who looked at him with an 'I don't know' look.

"There you go" Meredith said placing the glass of juice in front of him "Izzie? Juice? Coffee? Anything?"

"No, I'm good" Izzie replied "Are you ok Mer? Your uh, your being chirpy"

"Is that a bad thing?"

"No, it's just, your not chirpy your, your dark and twisty" Izzie stuttered.

"I'm bright and shiny Izzie, bright and shiny" Meredith smiled.

"Oh my god you spoke to her didn't you!" George exclaimed.

"Spoke to who?" asked Izzie.

"Dr Montgomery" said George "We told her to make a decision, either have a fresh start or talk to her"

"Oh, riiightt" Izzie nodded "So, what did you say?"

"It was, hard but, we're working through it, starting again, slowly"

"Slowly?" Izzie asked with a raised eyebrow.

"Talking and only going to second base, her idea not mine" Meredith shrugged "But I don't care, whatever she wants oh and please be nice to her, and when she stays over because she will be call her Addison, she doesn't want to be anyones boss outside of the hospital so…."

"Whatever you say Mer" Izzie laughed.

~x~

"Hey" Meredith smiled as Addison stepped into the elevator at the end of their shift.

"Hey" Addison smiled.

"I haven't seen you today"

"Surgeries" Addison smiled.

Meredith stepped around her and slammed her hand on the emergency stop button, she pulled Addison by the collar of her coat in for a kiss, Addison turned them around and pressed Meredith up against the elevator wall, when they finally pulled away they pressed their foreheads together "What was that for?" Addison whispered.

"I haven't seen you today" Meredith smiled softly "Come over tonight"

"I'm not having sex with you"

"Who said anything about sex?" Meredith smirked "I'm thinking lots of first and second base, maybe we could take a bath together, the last time we did that was fun"

"The last time we did that we had sex"

"We won't, pinky swear" Meredith teased.

"Then I guess I'm coming over tonight" Addison smiled pulling away and straightening herself out, she reached over and pulled out the stop button, Meredith reached out and linked her fingers with Addison "No more secrets" she said firmly as Addison tried to pull away.

"But…."

"No more secrets Addie" Meredith sighed.

"Ok, no more secrets"

As they reached they reached the ground floor the elevator doors pinged open, they both winced as they saw Derek stood there waiting.

"Oh you have _got _to be kidding me" he spat.

"We were just leaving" Meredith mumbled stepping out of the elevator pulling Addison with her.

"I don't want to see either of you. Ever. Again." he snapped.

"Well I think that's going to be kind of a problem _Dr Shepard_!" Meredith snapped back "We're not expecting you to ever forgive us, we get it, we did this the wrong way but if you think for _one _second we're leaving this hospital you are seriously deranged, Good Night Dr Shepard"

Derek just shot them a disgusted look before stepping into the elevator.

"Way to shoot a man while he's down Mer" Addison sighed.

"You know I had a point Addie, we're staying put"

"Come on, lets go and get that bath" Addison smiled softly.

~x~

"I've missed this" Meredith said as she lay back in Addison's arms, soapy bubbles surrounding them, candles flickering around the room.

"Me too" Addison said kissing her temple.

"Do you think…." Meredith started.

"Hmm?"

"Do you think maybe, when we're, not taking it slow, when we're back to being us, when things have settled down a little that maybe, maybe you could, move in"

"You want me to move in?" Addison asked curiously.

"I know it's fast, I get that but, you can't live in that hotel forever Addie and I have room, you can have my Moms den for some of your stuff if you want"

"But thats your Moms den"

"My Mom isn't here, you are"

"Maybe one day, when things are settled" Addison smiled softly.

"Ok" Meredith sighed happily "Addison" Meredith started, turning her head to look back at her "I love you"

"I love you too" Addison smiled leaning in and kissing her softly.

~x~

**1 month later.**

"What's wrong baby?" Meredith said quietly as she lay in bed with Addison, she rolled onto her front and looked up at her expectantly.

"I uh, I had to deliver a still born today" Addison said disbelievingly "I should be used to this, I shouldn't, it shouldn't affect me"

"Oh Addie" Meredith said shuffling a little to wrap an arm around her "Of course it's going to affect you, if it didn't you'd be, you'd be like some kind of, robot"

"They were so happy, so so happy and, and then she wakes up, she gets into the shower and, she slips and just like that, her baby, he's gone and, happy people should have happy things happen to them not, not that"

"On a scale of one to ten how bad is it?" Meredith said stroking her cheek softly.

"8"

Meredith kisses her softly "How about now?"

"7"

Meredith climbs on top of her and kisses her again "Now?"

"6" they continue to kiss pausing for Addison to mumbled numbers until she suddenly stops, she looks up at Meredith and smiles softly "I think we can stop taking it slow" she whispered, Meredith flashes her a smile before crashing her lips down on Addison's once more.

~x~

**1 month later.**

"Mer, you ok?" Addison asked as she walked into the kitchen to find Meredith sat at the table staring into space, her phone clutched in her hand "Meredith?"

"I um, that, that was the nursing home, it's, it's my Mom, she uh, she's, she's dead" Meredith stuttered.

"Oh, oh Mer" Addison said pulling up a chair next to her "What happened?" she asked softly reaching out and running her fingers through Meredith's hair.

"They think it might have been her heart but they don't know for sure, she just, she went to bed and, just never woke up again, I, I don't know how to feel"

"You will honey, your just in shock right now, are you ok to work? I can call the Chief"

"No, no I should go in, my Mom would want me to go in and, I should probably tell the Chief myself, right" Meredith said standing up "Give me 5 minutes and I'll be ready"

"Mer…."

"I'm fine Addison" Meredith smiled "Just fine"

~x~

"Dr Grey have you finished my charts yet?" Derek asked coldly walking up to the nurses stations "Dr Grey!" he snapped.

"Oh uh, what, sorry, what?" Meredith stuttered snapping her eyes over to him.

"Charts, are they finished?"

"Almost"

"Almost isn't good enough, they should be done by now, you do not get paid to sit around and daydream, this is twice I have told you today" he said raising his voice a little.

"Sorry Dr Shepard, it won't happen again" she mumbled.

"What the hell is wrong with you?" he asked incredulously "Had another fight with your girlfriend?" he spat.

"No I haven't actually not that it is any of your business" she snapped back.

"It's my business when it's my wife" he hissed.

"She is your ex-wife" she hissed back standing up and gathering the charts in her hand "I don't need this today"

"Whatever is going on with you snap the hell out of it"

"You know what" she said slamming the charts down "Screw you, do them yourself" she said storming off.

"Dr Grey!" he shouted after her "If you don't get back here right now!"

"Go to hell Derek!" she shouted over her shoulder.

"What the _hell _do you think your doing?" Addison asked from behind him, he turned around quickly and glared at her.

"She's been in a world of her own all day, don't even bother trying to come to her rescue Addison"

"Not that it's _any _of your business" Addison said lowering her voice so only he could hear her "But her mother died this morning so I think you should cut her an inch of slack for even turning up, I get it, we hurt you but this has to stop, now I'm going to go and find her, I might even be able to get her to come back and finish your precious charts but seriously, grow the hell up" she said storming after Meredith.

"Addison!" he shouted after her.

"What?" she snapped.

"Tell her, tell her to take as much time as she needs, and, that I'm sorry, about her mother, I'm sorry"

"Thank you" Addison said softly turning away.

~x~

"Mer honey, are you in here?" Addison whispered as she opened the door to the darkened on-call room, she flicked the light on to see Meredith curled up in a ball on one of the beds, Addison closed the door behind her and locked it, she turned the light back off and felt her way over to the bed climbing on behind Meredith, she wrapped her arms around her and pulled her in tight.

"Addie" Meredith whimpered.

"I'm here honey, I'm here"

"She was all alone, I didn't want her to be alone"

"It's ok" Addison said soothingly "Everything is going to be ok"

"I love you"

"I love you too sweetie, just close your eyes, sshh, close your eyes"

"I have to do the charts" Meredith said trying to sit up.

"It's fine, he knows, he said to take as much time as you need"

"Thank you" Meredith whispered sinking back into the bed.

"Have a nice sleep baby"

~x~

**1 week later.**

"I just agreed to have dinner at my fathers house, tonight. And Cristina slept with Colin Marlow" Meredith said walking into the office Addison was sat in.

"The Marlow transplant, Marlow?" asked Addison looking up from her chart.

"They had a thing when she was a student. How can I have a meal at my father's house?"

"He slept with Cristina?"

"Addie!"

"Oh right, ok, um, sorry. Have dinner at our house, I'll be there, I'll be your wingman, it'll be fun" Meredith scoffed at her "Ok, it won't be fun. It'll be….it'll be fine. They're your family"

"Why does everyone assume that?"

"Cause you have to have a family whether you like them or not"

"You and my friends, your my family" Meredith said leaning into Addison slightly "You just called my house _our _house"

"Oh, did I?" Addison laughed nervously.

"My offers still there Addie" Meredith smiled "All you have to do is check out of the hotel"

"Do you think we're ready?"

"I've been ready for a long time" Meredith said softly.

"Ok then, so we're ready, I'll move in"

"Good" Meredith smiled, she looked over her shoulders to see if they were being watched before placing a quick kiss on Addison's lips "I'll see you at our house"

"See you at our house" Addison laughed.

~x~

**1 month later.**

"Your thinking about it" Addison said quietly as herself and Meredith leaned over the nurses station working their way through a pile of charts.

"Thinking about what?" Meredith mumbled.

"Meeting your sisters, they're going to love you Meredith"

"You don't know that" Meredith sighed "They'll think I'm trying to steal their family"

"He was your family first"

"And then he left!" Meredith snapped "Sorry, sorry I didn't mean to, sorry"

"Everything is going to be fine Meredith" Addison said rubbing her back softly.

"Have you seen Karev anywhere?" Derek said stepping beside them.

"Not for a couple of hours" said Meredith "I have to go, if I see Alex I'll tell him you were looking"

"Thanks" Derek smiled.

"I'll see you at home" Meredith said kissing Addison's cheek before turning to walk away.

"Meredith?"

"Yeah" Meredith sighed turning back.

"Everythings going to be ok, I'll be there, every second, I love you ok?"

"I love you too" Meredith smiled softly "Bye"

"Bye honey" Addison smiled, she turned back to her charts and sighed heavily.

"Penny for your thoughts?" asked Derek.

"Your talking to me" Addison said slowly.

"I'm being a grown up, everything ok?"

"She's meeting her half-sisters tonight and she's freaking out a little, it's fine, all under control" Addison sighed "If your talking to me you have to talk to Mark as well you get that right?"

"I know" Derek nodded "I'm trying, sort of still want to punch him but I'm trying"

"We've all made mistakes Derek, all four of us"

"Yeah" Derek sighed "We have"

"I'm, I'm sorry I did that to you, again, I'm sorry" she said squeezing his arm a little "I did love you Derek but, we were kidding ourselves"

"I'm sorry too" Derek sighed "Friends?" he said holding out his hand.

"Friends" she said shaking it "I should, go"

"Sure, good luck tonight, with the sisters thing"

"Thank you" Addison smiled.

~x~

"Hey" Derek smiled as Meredith approached him the following day "Let me guess, you're my intern for the day"

"That obvious" Meredith said with a laugh "Anything interesting today?"

"A bunch of craniotomies, you in?"

"Always" Meredith smiled "Your, your smiling at me"

"Did Addison not tell you? I'm being a grown-up, I won't ever forgive you, you, Addison and, and Mark, I won't ever forgive you but, I can be a grown-up"

"Thank you" Meredith said softly.

"So, how did the meeting the sisters thing go?" Derek asked as they began to make their way along the corridor.

"Oh, you heard about that?"

"Addison told me yesterday, said you were feeling nervous"

"Petrified is probably more fitting" Meredith laughed "But no, it was, ok, weird and awkward but, ok"

"Good, that's good"

"I'm really sorry Derek" Meredith said softly.

"Yeah, me too" Derek said sadly.

~x~

**5 months later.**

"Hey, I missed you this morning" Meredith said as she approached Addison at the nurses station.

"I got paged" Addison sighed "Happy Anniversary" she smiled kissing her softly.

"Happy Anniversary" Meredith said kissing her again "I love you"

"I love you too" Addison smiled softly "I need to uh, talk to you about something, tonight, at dinner"

"Oh" Meredith said with surprise "Is everything ok?"

"Yeah, yeah no, nothings wrong I just, need to talk to you about something"

"Ok" Meredith smiled "I'll talk to you later then?"

"Yeah" Addison said kissing her.

~x~

"So" Meredith breathed as she sat across from Addison in their favourite Italian restaurant "You wanted to talk to me about something"

"I, I love you Mer, more than, more than I've ever loved anyone, ever, and I feel like, I don't deserve you sometimes, and this, this thing, I need to say, I think, I don't know, how you're going to feel about it, but the thing is, I think this thing will, change us"

"Addie, what are you talking about?" Meredith asked worriedly.

"Mer I, I want to have a baby" Addison said with a slight whisper.

"You want to have a baby?" Meredith said slowly.

"Yeah, I do" Addison nodded "I really, really do"

"So how do you, propose we get this baby?"

"Well we could either use a donor, or try for adoption"

"Ok" Meredith breathed "Wow"

"Meredith if you don't want this then, I need to know now" Addison said quietly.

"Well I, I've never really, thought about it, it was never something in my plan but, you weren't exactly in my plan either, so if you want this, if you _seriously_ want this then, then I guess a baby, a baby can be something new on my plan"

"You'd, you'd do that for me?" Addison asked tearfully.

"I'd do anything for you Addie" Meredith smiled softly.

"I love you" Addison whispered squeezing Meredith's hand from across the table.

"I love you too" Meredith smiled.

~x~

**5 years later.**

"Hey! Come on in" Addison smiled as she opened the front door to Lexie, Susan and Thatcher "It's great to see you guys"

"You too dear" Susan smiled softly "So, where is that gorgeous grandson of mine?"

"Grandma!" a 4 year old boy shouted from the top of the stairs, he ran down them as quickly as he could and jumped up into her arms.

"Oh no, this isn't right" said Susan "I don't remember my Jake being this handsome"

"I get handsomer and handsomer every single day!" Jake exclaimed "Right Mommy?"

"Right sweetie" Addison laughed "Right, come on through, she's right in here" she said leading them through to the living room.

"Hey" Meredith smiled as she turned around from where she stood looking in at their 4 day old daughter Lucy.

"Meredith" Thatcher smiled "You look good" he said hugging her.

"I look like hell Dad" Meredith laughed "So, ready to meet your granddaughter"

"Of course" he said softly, Meredith reached into the bassinet and handed a pink bundle to him "Lucy, meet Grandpa Thatcher, Dad, meet Lucy"

"Wow, she looks just like you Meredith" Thatcher said quietly.

"Yeah, I guess she does" Meredith smiled "Soo…." she said as they all dropped down onto the sofas "How are Molly and Eric, and Laura? I haven't had a chance to call them since, all this" she said gesturing at Lucy.

"They're good" Susan smiled "They send their love"

"She is so beautiful" Lexie whispered.

"Just like her Mom" Addison smiled.

"Suck up" Meredith smirked.

~x~

"I'm so proud of you Mer" Thatcher smiled a few hours later as they said their goodbyes "Of the woman you've become, I just wish, I wish I hadn't have missed out on, all that time"

"I know" Meredith said softly "But we've been through this Dad, it's the past, the past doesn't matter anymore, we just have to, be thankful for what we have now"

"Right" Thatcher smiled "Well, I should, go, I'm sure we'll be back over, you know Susan, she'll be bringing you knitted booties for weeks"

"Yeah" Meredith laughed "Thanks for coming" she said kissing his cheek "I love you"

"Love you too Merrybear" Thatcher smiled, Meredith let out a laugh, she stood with Addison and Jake and waved Thatcher, Susan and Lexie goodbye.

"You okay?" Addison asked as Meredith let out a sigh.

"I'm great" Meredith smiled "Perfect, just, perfect" she whispered kissing her softly.

"Eewww, Mama, Mommy, that's gross" Jake shuddered.

"It's gross huh?" Addison said picking him up "How about this for gross" she said peppering his face with kisses.

"Mommy" he squealed with a giggle.

"Come on" Meredith laughed "Let's get you some dinner little man"

"Can we have pizza? Please, pretty pretty please" Jake smiled.

Addison looked to Meredith and let out a laugh "How is he more like you than me?" she smirked.

"I'm just _that_ good" Meredith laughed "Come on, lets go order that pizza"

~x~ ~x~ ~x~


End file.
